I just need to write. Daily. Usually when people are passionate about something they don’t tend to struggle to engage in it everyday. I, however, find myself seemingly lost in the middle of my love for writing, with thoughts whitewater rafting through my mind and my hands disconnected from my raft, Writing Central, as if they belonged to someone else. It may be, perhaps, that my hands and fingers have not yet been trained and are not in sync with my mind as I would have them. They must be attuned to my thoughts before I have them so as to prevent having a brain clog of ideas and word mashed potatoes like I’m experiencing right now. Anyway, I’m not sure how eloquently I’ve introduced my latest attempt to be awesome and inspirational, but you get the idea. I’ll go take my mashed potatoes somewhere else for now.

A Life Imagined

"Amori" by MeghanAlexandra

Our way of life has become to fight against our own happiness. Unfortunately, it’s not particularly easy to avoid bogging down our daily lives with our trials and tribulations of the hour, it’s just so crucial that we try.  We work hard and study hard, make friends, break up with our girlfriends and boyfriends, get divorced and hope the next one will be better. But what would happen if we stopped fighting? What would happen if the most important things weren’t where we were going or “what are we doing tomorrow?” or “where do I see myself in 10 years?” or “is this what’s right for me?” What if the most important thing was being here now? Then what? Then we will realize perfection. My direction is not to get rid of hopes and dreams and nearly achieved goals. It is simply do what you can to do what you love… and be satisfied. Our lives don’t have to be ever-changing. They already are. Our stress does not enhance them. We were not born to act at rapid speed, making left and right turns through life to reach the next level as soon as possible. We are here to be here. The rest is just detail, extraneous or not. Overthinking is overrated and I like to overthink just as much as the next person, but I’ve learned that it does me no good. If I could just forget to analyze every cause and effect, every action and reaction of my day, that’s when I will know true solidarity. I truly believe if we just “let it be” we would reach that untouchable place we only dream of. We would find in one moment of peace, an eternity of love and graciousness, simplicity and sunshine. All I’m asking is that you please, please, please, don’t forget to love… because it could make all the difference in the world.

I would have you laugh, love, and read to me. As long as you were with me, in this moment, for now.

]]> http://witheverycupoftea.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/our-ever-changing-love-killing-lives/feed/ 0 witheverycupoftea Pisa Graffiti http://witheverycupoftea.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/were-all-just-so-fabulous/ http://witheverycupoftea.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/were-all-just-so-fabulous/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:51:47 +0000 Meghan http://witheverycupoftea.wordpress.com/?p=485 ]]>

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

-Carrie from Sex and the City

Although foolish they may seem, those crazy girls from Sex and the City happen to get it right every once in a while. Although they find ways to work themselves into trouble or stumble into a risky romance, they find a way to make up for it. A day at the salon or lounging in the sun, a wild vacay or some naughty fun; they’ve got the “you” love right. As Carrie reminds us, “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself,” and so, I will ask you to love yourself today. Love yourself like no one else will.

Or maybe treat yourself to some Italian chocolates... mmmmm

I, however, will not be loving myself today. In fact, I will be studying long and hard for a dreaded exam that awaits me tonight at 8… except it seems as though my study materials are currently locked in my friend’s room. So as I wait, I thought I’d give my brain a quick-fix and type up some lovely comfort for my very few avid readers, (I suspect there are more of you closet WECOT lovers than you’ve let on, but then again, maybe not.) Anywho, it’s Springtime again, which means I should be blogging a lot more than usual. There’s a chance I have seasonal affective disorder and the winter months do me no good for inspiration. I joke about the disorder, but seriously, these winters are long and I get freaking cold. Ciao!

Cherish every meeting with someone. The odds of not meeting in this life are so great that every meeting is like a miracle.

-Yoko Ono

It’s true. Every encounter is with meant with purpose just as every conversation leaves you with something more than the day before. To meet a person is to enrich your life beyond that of any life you could have on your own. With each passing glance, and smile, and touch, people become landmarks in our lives; stationed on the side of the road, whichever road that may be. They are what make our strides worth while and if you have not yet come to realize that, you soon will. Mark my words, a most profound person will enter your life and you will marvel at the person you’ve become once they’ve left.

"A Close Encounter" Suzy by MeghanAlexandra

I know every man, even some women, hold girly time with very little regard. Admittedly, often times I think I turn out to be one of those women—glancing over at two young girls gossiping with disdain. However, no matter how petty, mundane, or completely mindless, there is something essential about a good girl chat. It is something that husbands and boyfriends will never understand; they will shake their heads at us as we chirp away. Fathers will discourage it, for they grow wary of the incessant, indiscernible chatter.  Mothers will advise against for it may get you into trouble (depending upon the discussion, of course). Unfortunately, what the men don’t get and the mothers realize but will never admit is that aside from our daily activities, our hobbies, and responsibilities- our gossip is something that can never be taken away from us. That, and it will always be there to connect us. Sisters, cousins, mothers and daughters, aunts, old friends, new friends, and faraway friends. Sometimes we all just need to be silly—have a good cry, laugh, or exchange recipes—these insignificant things represent the light we look for when our tunnel has grown dark, very dark. So forgive us if we may seem foolish. Excuse us if we appear to be ignorant of the greater part of our Universe for that moment in time. And please accept us for our silly nature, because sometimes, girls just want to have fun.

A Softer World

Perhaps my inability to sleep these past few weeks simply has to do with an emotional surplus. I think the more I feel, the less I rest—which suddenly makes things so much clearer. Actually, now I really do see it. Of course I can’t sleep. I am irritated beyond belief, and yet, content to a point of confusion. I am determined, driven towards anxiousness, and I am in love, deep enough that if my head were to explode it would yield flower petals and remnants of confetti cake. I believe that will, essentially, make a person quite unstable… and possibly leave him or her with an insatiable need to take way too much Nyquil and knock out for a few days in a somber coma.

I received a lovely gift for Christmas… an amethyst pendant with a small Buddha charm strung to the middle of it, which I wore today for the first time. The amethyst, intended for meditation, is supposed to promote peace. Taking this into account, I think I should probably wear it more often. If anyone else has some helpful tips to aid a fretful insomniac, by all means, do not hesitate to contact Yours Truly. Goodmorning or goodnight, you shall be hearing from me soon.

Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.

-Tori Amos

 

I think people get genuinely upset with me because of my tendency to distance myself from any extra obligatory activities, but I’m surprised at how much my friends seem to barely know me at all. My focus is always 100% where I am and what I’m doing, and to interrupt my balance is something that ultimately leaves me irritable and resentful. It’s surely a flaw of mine, but I’m only human. I dislike the pressures of having to keep my relationships nurtured and tidy. I’m just too busy for it. If I didn’t have to deal with certain aspects of my life until it was required of me I wouldn’t. It may offend people or come off as completely flaky, but I’m in and out of my life as frequently as the changing of the tide. It was hard for me to accept this of myself at first, now I just need everyone else to. That might take a while. All I ask is for some patience, some patience so that I may mend and work out all the inconsistencies in my life and I can find a common ground between where I am and where you are and where I want to be.

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.

-Hellen Keller

"Urban Decay" by MeghanAlexandra

 

I’m not making up my mind about anything right now. Things are happening so quickly for me, and I’m still in the thinking stage.

-Patsy Cline

"A Long Walk Home" Paul Jr. by MeghanAlexandra

The phone is ringing and I realize

We are time zones and oceans apart

The words I speak in the middle of my night

Fall on your yesterday’s heart.

-Paul Simon, Thelma

"Tower Bridge" in London by MeghanAlexandra

If you stop just for a moment and think about yourself, think about your day and all of the things on your mind. I’m sure you’d find that a number of them give you reason to worry, grieve, become anxious. Now if you were to remove the interest in yourself and place it in another person—someone  walking down the street, someone in your home, a loved one, a homeless person—you would be able to understand a bit more that although your problems, detrimental they may seem, are essentially the only ones you are concerned about, each person we encounter has their own world to be carried upon their shoulders. Every single person you will meet has had a lifetime worth of experiences that sets them a part from all the rest of us. Experiences you will never know or imagine. You can tell in the way they laugh heartily at a joke and then in the one second it takes to transition from laughing to a simple conversation, you see their eyes grow distant and their brow furrow slightly. You can tell in the way a neighbor walking their dog gazes down at the greying cracks in the sidewalk and the lines around their mouth become just a little more tense. You can tell in the way a girl sits on her bed typing at her laptop, slows to a stop and looks up at her window, eyes moving very subtly left and right, indicative of a heavy thought in action, the wheels of her mind turning. This is where my methods of people observation is failing.

"Never Look Back" Teela by MeghanAlexandra

I am no longer able to study the raw behavior of the people who interest me most. I can only psychoanalyze their words and punctuations, their IM smiley faces, and the time of day they text me. Technology has disabled the part I love most about people. And that’s interacting with them. The most I could gather from someone on the phone is the tone in their voice, the number of seconds it takes before they answer a question, how responsive they are to my cheerful mood. And so, as I find the basic ability to deduce meanings from body language and simple mannerisms slipping like grains of sand from in between my fingers, I’m also finding it increasingly more difficult to make sense of attraction. Something society has tried to shape and mold to make the process easier for us. Forget about our endangered species called “The Press.” With eHarmony and Match.com, newspapers aren’t the only ones suffering from this transition of Real Life to Cyber Space. Love suffers, too. Believe it or not, this train of thought having been prompted by a trip to my mechanic.

I had a minor technical difficulty that required me to drop off my storm grey Ion for repair (the driver’s window wouldn’t go down- quite embarrassing when stopping for tolls) and when I went to pick it up the following day, as I stood in the office waiting for the shop owner, a door to my left opened and in walked… a strapping young fellow. A California boy type, dirty blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail, a few strands cast in front of his aqua blue eyes most likely as a result of the breeze. And his lips. Perfectly pink and supple revealing an equally perfect set of blinding white teeth. Let me not get distracted. Anyway, for the moment he stepped into the office our eyes immediately found each others’ and as we attempted to continue our business, embarrassed by the encounter, we realized something about the other that was very blatantly—attraction. We tossed looks back and forth, glancing away after we felt the heat rise in our faces, smiling a little too much, not even saying a word. A trip to the auto shop quite superior to all the rest I find myself with some small hope my window will, yet again, incur another malfunction so that I may find said California Blue-Eyed Boy and ask if he makes house calls.

"The Best Kind of Attraction" by MeghanAlexandra

Many of you may call this lust. Well, they were physically attracted to each other, what’s the big deal. The big deal is, as insignificant as this encounter was, it was something more than eyeing the opposite sex and liking what I saw. It was something that occurred in a cosmic second and something I have experienced few times before (in which case scenarios I would have referred to the interaction as “vibing”.)  There were vibes, static, energy; something that told me if I sat down to have a conversation with this person everything would fall into place. We had each other’s pieces to the puzzle.

And this is something you cannot find online.

It’s something that texting and emails have taken away from us. Something I wish could always be there, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not. You may communicate with a person for years without ever having met them, and although you sometimes think to yourself late at night maybe we’d work flawlessly, two peas in a pod, a square peg in a square hole, you know the workings would have been forged by years of pushing or prodding within different portals of communication, not one of them a real-life encounter. All you’ve had from the beginning was communication, all your questions answered, all your kinks and quirks discovered, and whereas you may find yourself completely at ease with this person, you feel you know them inside and out, up and down, every crook and cranny, you ask yourself if there could be something more complete for you.

And you realize, yes. There could be.

You’ve grabbed your lighter and started your own fire. There was no spontaneous combustion, no strike of lighting to a tree, no transformer blowing outside from who knows what; you’ve taken matters into your own hands. Chemistry, pheromones, the spark. These things are all explanations to the thing I’m trying to figure out. The thing technology has removed. And so we question ourselves: Which way would we rather have it? Would you rather build your bond overtime, standing over a sturdy foundation called Trust and Communication? Or would you rather find the intrigue and attempt to push past barriers, unraveling a person as fluid and changeable as you are? Your muse, your infatuation. Isn’t that something worth searching for?

When I think of how much society has changed, I wouldn’t call myself indifferent, I just tend to weigh the pros and cons fairly equally. Needless to say, a key element in the evolution of how communities now function is technology. I sit down and think of all the ways technology has enabled me to access and create, and I can’t help but feel grateful for almost every effect its had on my life. Every effect except for one.

We’re rewiring millions of years of evolution, to suppress basic human instinct, to exchange a few sentences to find out if we share the same taste in Indie Rock accompanied by =] =D and <3.

Many people will never be able to explain personalities or behaviors. Many people will never be able to explain Love. But really, what the hell is <3 ?

"Father Daughter" by MeghanAlexandra

Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all.

-Voltaire